i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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