how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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