wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Randomize