i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Acid is not a monday night drug
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Randomize
