Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
