I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
She told me I should be a condom model.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
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