The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Randomize
