i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Randomize