Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Randomize
