your room smells of hookers.
And success
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
