Duck Duck Cougar?
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Randomize
