dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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