She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
