i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
Randomize
