I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
