I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Randomize
