Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Randomize
