I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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