I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Randomize
