You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
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