Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
