I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
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