He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
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He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
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So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize