i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
