He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
