You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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