Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize