Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Randomize
