I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
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I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
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I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Randomize