It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Randomize
