i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Randomize
