In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
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