Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Randomize
