i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
