You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
