I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
