Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize