She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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