her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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