He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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