I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
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