I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Randomize