So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
