I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize