okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
