**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
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