saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
no you cant smoke seaweed
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
Can I color on your dick again?
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
