So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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