I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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