Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
