We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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