he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
