you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
