So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
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