I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
